Pay Poor People to Get Sterilized

The Government should give prize money to people to get themselves sterilized. No restrictions -- you can use the money to settle your bill at the crack dealer, or you can invest it. Put the person on a blacklist that they can't get a reversal for 5 years (this weeds out the idiots who will just blow the prize money.) If you take the money, insurers are forbidden from covering a reversal procedure, although you are free to pay cash. One time deal -- you can't do it twice.

Realistically, only really, really poor people or desperate people or financial idiots would see this as a good deal, and frankly we really don't need their genes floating around anyway.

Cost analysis: Calculate the average amount of money in government services saved if some poor person were to become neutered and/or spayed. Discount that by 50% and offer that as the payoff to poor person to get snipped.

I'd offer it to the everyone, though because even though some non-poor person might statistically output more tax donors than recipients, he doesn't need to be passing his genes along anyway.

Win-win.

Credit Card Offers

When you get a credit card offer in the mail, take the outer envelope and all the contents and stuff it into the prepaid envelope and mail it back with a staple in the center of it. That annoys them and costs them money.

Phone Survey Fee

Whenever I get a phone survey, I ask, "Are you aware of the fee?"

"What fee?"

"There's a ten dollar fee to answer surveys, if you have a credit card, you can deposit into my paypal account."

"We don't pay fees for surveys."

"Bummer."

With Handouts Comes Obligation

I've come to the thinking that what I don't like about the left's foreign policy is that they like to buy off good will without attaching obligations to it. I'd much rather that our foreign aid policies be, "you do what the hell we want or we'll not only cut you off, but come in and take back what we already gave you." Come to think of it, that attitude would work well with just about any government handout. Get any type of aid, you have to do what you're told. Or else.

Breeding

Encourage stupid people not to breed. It should be easy to convince them because they're stupid. Make especially strong emphasis of kids getting bodily fluids all over you and them breaking all your stuff.

Idiots Shouldn't Vote

Since clearly idiots and ignorant people shouldn't vote, we should form a political action group to advertise and list the issues. Then at the end say, "If you don't understand these things in their entirety, please stay home on election day."

"Free" Universal Health Care

Implement a "Free" Universal Health Care system that only gets you "free" stuff conforming to 25 year old technology. This, being beyond the patent horizon, is the edge of affordability and what one may reasonably expect as a freeloader. More advanced care must be paid with cash or risk pool insurance.

Free Steroids

Free steroids should be given to all female combat troops to even the playing field and avoid lawsuits.

Population

Smart, educated people are less likely to have kids than dumb, uneducated leechy people. This is a crime against humanity. It is the responsibility of smart people to have as many kids as possible while convincing dumb people to get sterilized.

Addicted to Love

Give your kid a piece of nicotine gum every time he or she does something right.

Looping Souls

I think it would be amusing being God and sending souls of suicides back in time to start their crappy lives all over again.