Gay Riot

It occurs to that from a strategic point of view: why the hell should I care about gay rights? Back in the olden days, we had race riots to make us give a shit. But do we get a gay RIOT? No -- we get some pansy-assed (to coin a phrase) gay MARCH.

Whoop de do. A march.

In any case, I expect that many legislative movements were born of blocking traffic and walking down the street in revealing outfits that get posted on internet newsgroups so that thousands upon thousands of lonely college freshmen can whack off to the lesbians with pierced nips and spiky collars. Or something. Hey, at least it wins over the lonely-college-freshman vote.

In any case, if you want civil rights, gay or otherwise, you have to have a riot, not some stupid march. Duh. Show some balls (so to speak)! Smash something! Get arrested throwing a brick at a truck driver's head!

Pot farming.

In western states with lots of government owned land, it's apparently a problem that pot growers set up plantations that the state then has to eradicate.

Well this is just stupid. The pot farmers should get a decent GPS and a good set of hiking boots. In the spring, they could hike into all kinds of hard to reach places and plant their crop one seed at a time. Then, at the end of the summer, they go back to their GPS waypoints and track down their crops for harvest.

Better yet, send an underage high-school doper out to fetch your dope for you. He'll probably even work for dope.

It might be a bit more expensive to harvest this way, but the prison risk goes way down and it becomes much more difficult for fly-over's to get a spectral profile of pot chlorophyll.

Gay Marriage the Easy Way

Go get a judge to declare you to be the opposite sex on government documents. People taking drugs and undergoing cosmetic surgery on their bodies to look like the opposite sex do it all the time; all you need is a sympathetic judge and you've sidestepped the law legally.

Favors

That is not correct. It's not a poor concept. It is poor form though because the person who owes the favor should damned well know it. Favors are essentially time given or risked for someone else to enhance political standing. That's too valuable to piss away on everyone around you. If you extend an unreturned favor, consider it a loss leader and be more careful next time.

The thing this person is thinking of is "charity".

On 8/19/05, [someone] wrote:

I don't like the concept of favors because they have an implication
of obligation.  When I do something for someone, I do not expect
anything in return.  I believe that "You owe me a favor," is a poor
concept.

Disperse the poor.

I propose that anyone on public assistance be barred by law from living within a kilometer of anyone else on public assistance. That would minimize the number of people getting together to re-inforce their own world view that society owes them a living. For example, plant one or two families in the middle of an affluent suburban development -- give them something to shoot for. And a reason to pick up the trash on their lawns.

Clone Yourself

To really annoy your enemies, clone yourself.

Good Lawyer

Because I believe that all non-evilness in lawyers should receive positive feedback, please send this one as much support as she needs.

Woman Promotes the Right to Go Topless

• An attorney crusades to change the law because it treats male and female sunbathers differently. A ruling in a Megan's Law case adds urgency.

Snow Hell

I've always hated the way they measure snowfall. A 30 inch column of snow can vary from the density of solid ice to cotton candy. Melt it and convert it to water units first, then multiply by a marketing constant called the "snow factor". Then meteorologists can lecture us on how to use the "snow factor". They'd love that.

Fufill yourself.

Embrace your inner chimp.

Pay Poor People to Get Sterilized

The Government should give prize money to people to get themselves sterilized. No restrictions -- you can use the money to settle your bill at the crack dealer, or you can invest it. Put the person on a blacklist that they can't get a reversal for 5 years (this weeds out the idiots who will just blow the prize money.) If you take the money, insurers are forbidden from covering a reversal procedure, although you are free to pay cash. One time deal -- you can't do it twice.

Realistically, only really, really poor people or desperate people or financial idiots would see this as a good deal, and frankly we really don't need their genes floating around anyway.

Cost analysis: Calculate the average amount of money in government services saved if some poor person were to become neutered and/or spayed. Discount that by 50% and offer that as the payoff to poor person to get snipped.

I'd offer it to the everyone, though because even though some non-poor person might statistically output more tax donors than recipients, he doesn't need to be passing his genes along anyway.

Win-win.